The Finale

     So just in case you missed it - or you're me and just want to keep rewatching the video and gaze at the awesome reunion pictures - here is Lock and I on our final day of the blogging project. (And then you have Jessi in the background just going 

)

(That IS Jessi right? I hope it's Jessi. Otherwise that'd be awkward.)

     Sorry, the video is crap and really pixelated and everything sounds like the computer ate it and threw it up...and then ate that and pooped it out.

     Did you need a visual? Probably not. 

     And then you have Lock and I looking all happy and internally just --

Pretty much like "OhmygodwecantalktoeachothernowandOMGyou'retouchingmehihihiit'sbeensolongholycrapIcanactuallylaughwithyounowandlookatyouandbewithyouandomgmyfeels."

     I was hoping our reunion would be something like this

     But it ended up more like this.

     Which is still pretty friggin' awesome if you ask me. (I knew you weren't but that's just too bad.)

     And now we're like this.

     Yeah guys, life is good. The world is now spinning on it's axis again. I made some new friends, learned what life is without Lock, and figured out that we're probably never doing that again.

     Ever.

     It's funny, too, because while we were apart, we also wrote letters to each other - sort of like diary entries - and we were going to show them to the other one when this was all said and done. So, when that happened, it was a surprise - no, not really - that a lot of our thoughts paralleled. Like, on some days, we would be writing about the exact same thing, or having the exact same emotions and then conveying them in the same way. It's - unexplainable, really. But it just makes sense. It isn't really a shock, it just goes to show how in tune we are with each other, but it was nice to know that, although we weren't together at all, our minds were still somehow connected on the same wavelength. I mean, how cool is that? Like, how often is it that you find someone who basically is the oher half of your brain, of your soul, of you? Even my dad has often commented that it's rare to find someone like that in life, and that I'm lucky to have her.

     I don't really believe in a god - I'm not biased towards any religion, really, I kind of just float along - but I sincerely believe in reincarnation and that, in all my other lifetimes, and all the centuries that have passed, Lock and I have come together each and every time, and we will continue to do so in the next life. I know that may sound odd, but I dare you to tell me that it isn't at least half believable. How else can we be so in tune with each other?

     Anyways, sorry to get all weird on you.

     Have a good day, guys!

A Study In Comfort

So, tomorrow's the last day of this wretched, kind of cool, somewhat soul-finding (depending on what you did) project. I think it's safe to say we're all pretty psyched about that.

     I've learned quite a bit about myself from this...wonderful...experience. I've learned that socializing isn't my forte. I've learned that I don't really know how to keep a conversation going, let alone what to actually talk about. I've also learned that, yeah, sure, although I can be independent enough to get by without She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I still won't be able to handle making friends without her. So, yeah, this project bombed, but that's part of experimenting, right? You try and you succeed, or you try and you fail, but the only thing that matters is that you tried. 

     I wish I had something awe-inspiring to write down here that could actually be worth your while but, quite frankly, my Tumblr tab is beckoning to me, and the number of posts keep rising, and I'm too busy searching for the right gifs to end this dumb thing.

     I just want to thank Mr. Ross for thinking of something so creatively insane, something that actually helps us learn more about ourselves while being uncomfortably fun at the same time. 

     I owe you, Mr. Ross. I. Owe. You.

     Hehehe. Okay. Sherlock references over. I don't even know how many of you actually get it, so I'm probably just hitting corpses with a riding crop over here. 

     All honesty though, I think I didn't really branch off enough to get the full effect of this project, so if any of y'all want to hang sometime during lunch or over the weekend - can't do after school and some weekends I'm gone - I'm up for grabs! 

     Because, seriously...

     Kk, sorry! I can't help myself with all these gifs! I know it's getting annoyingly repetitive

   

So, This Just Happened...

Yeah. Honestly? Nothing just happened. I just thought I'd make the post title catchy enough that you'd start reading - because I'm evil  - so, there ya go.
     But, so far, I think I've made some further advancement in this project.
     I mean, did I even state what I was hoping I'd learn from this project? No? Maybe I did, but I'm too lazy to go back and read my other posts, so I'll just say it again to make you suffer. 

     (Yeah, I spend way too much time searching for the right gif than I do actually thinking what to write next.)

Anyways. 

     What I was hoping to accomplish from this project was to become more independent. Because, as of since the last 8/9 years of my life, I have relied on She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for any and all social experiences I might have (I.E. hanging out/making new friends, talking to people, if she didn't go to a social event, then it was highly unlikely that I'd be there and vice versa.) Like, seriously though, almost all the friends I have now I have because of her. (I mean, it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's definitely not something that's going to help me in college.)

     So, we decided it was high time we break the umbilical cord and set out on our own to learn how to converse and meet new people without the assistance of The Other One.

     It's going pretty great so far, but I have since learned that I much value the closeness of friends rather than big groups of them. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but if I had to choose between only having a couple of close friends and  having a big group of friends who I hang out with occasionally - well - I'd choose the closer relationships.

    It's just - that's - me. I guess. That's just me. Yes, I do look back on my social life and wish I had more friends and people to hang out with after school but A) I wouldn't be able to accomplish it because I'm just that bad at conversations B) I'm generally a pretty boring person without She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named C) And - I don't know. I tend to sort of freeze up when I'm around other people. Like, I don't know what to do or say or - 

    Yeah. I'll shut up. Pity Party's over people. Take your party bags and get out. 

     No - but - yeah. Progress is good. It's good. Really. I mean, I hung out with someone who is not Her for once, and - I - Um. Well, that's about it, really. I've still got to take some of you guys up on your lunch offers so I can blog about that, too, but, in all honesty. I've got nothing new to report. So.

     Here's a baby.

     And a Pikachu.

And some good looking guys.

     Sorry, I'm sort of in love with this dork. He's just so...

     

     Okay. Yes. I'm done. I swear. I'm done.

     I Lied. 

   

Today...

Yes. Today.
     Today was...it...I was...

     Today had me as David Tennant - or The Doctor, whichever you prefer - standing out in the rain.

     Yeah. Bit not good, that.

     I mean. It's only day two. Why get so dramatic when it's only my second day in this project, right? Why get so dramatic in day two of this wonderful, brilliant, fantastic, amazing, simply superb blogging project that I am enjoying immensely and I must continue enjoying it immensely FOR THE NEXT WEEK AND A HALF. 

     Oh yeah, baby. Caps Lock is ON. 

 WHO'S FLIPPIN' IDEA WAS THIS ANYWAY TO MAKE THIS PROJECT TWO WEEKS LONG? MR. ROSS! Well, let me tell you something, Rockus Ross - or whatever in the name of some deity his adjective was - I AM 

     Alright. Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just - these damn emotions. I'm calm now. 

     Really, though. Today was really not - it goes on the Bit Not Good list. There are lots of things that go on the Bit Not Good list which are things that are not good and Today with a capital "T". 

    Recap:

    Woke up. Showered. Yes. Fine. Boring. Like breathing. Breathing's boring.

    I got kind of emotional during third period when She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named sat in my group for Econ/Gov. and then promptly left 2 minutes later.

     Logically, I knew She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named shouldn't have sat down in the vicinity of my presence in the first place, which is what I was hoping she would and wouldn't do. But when she did, I had a sort of moment of internal victory dances going on inside.

     All I could think of was, "Oh my god she's sitting right next to me what do I do okay just look away she doesn't exist ignore her bloody hell that's even worse than not looking at her okay calm down calm I am calm calmcalmcalmcalmCALM."

     So I did. I calmed down. I was pleasant. Peaceful. I could handle it. I could handle having her less than a foot away and not being able to talk or look at her. I had it, I was good. 

     And then she moved seats and I just

     To clear up my emotions here, I randomly started thinking that she hated me for some reason and she couldn't stand to be around me and she found out that she liked other people better so she decided to switch seats. It could've had something to do with the fact that only minutes before, I'd had someone tell me to act like we hated each other. That coupled with grief ended up with me and this

     It took me far longer than it really should have for me to realise that she moved not because she hated me, but because the other group only had 2 people in it, and ours had 4 - including her - so she moved because she felt like she had to, for them. (We were playing a game that involved extra credit points and good stuff.)

     See? SEE. I know her mind inside and out. I have deduced this with my own knowledge and I am 100% sure that I am right.

     Overall. It's the second day of our fourteen day project, and I think I am doing well. 

     I'm going to talk about more positive stuff now!

     Well, I. Um. It was 11;40PM when I started this post. Now it's 12:15AM. 

     Hour lunch today. Anyone want to hang?

    

Cue Catchy Post Title

     Yeah, so. First day actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I imagined myself curling up in a defenseless ball in my room by the end of the day, sobbing my heart out.
     Instead I get me sitting here typing out my blog entry with a shitton of homework to do.
     Yay for procrastination!

     Lunch wasn't so bad either. I spent it with a couple of people whom I knew but didn't really know. It was more of the "Oh hey I see you about to pass me in the halls holy crap do I say hi or just watch how interesting my feet look when I walk shit s/he saw me now I have to say something 'Hiiii!' now just keep walking and avoid how awkward that was" type of things.
     To put it  briefly, I really didn't know them that well.

     But somehow I lasted through lunch and made it through the end of the day with the help of a very new friend of mine who is lovely and awesome and deserves lots of hugs.

     We went out to eat at Carls Jr. after school and it was... interesting, to say the least. Not "interesting" in the bad sort of "oh that hideous thing looks interesting" sort of interesting. But "interesting" like "this experiment. Yes. I like it very much. I want moremoremore" interesting. We talked about Batman and then I thought she said "Penis" which led to lots of giggles and good memories.
     Let me elaborate a bit more, yeah? (Not the penis portion of that part.)
     I haven't hung out with anyone outside of school other than Lock since 7th or 8th grade. Not really, anyway. And if I have, she's always been there with me.
    Like I said. Safety blanket. Think Linus and his blankie from Charlie Brown.

     So, yes, it was interesting to see I how react with people-who-are-not-Lock. Very interesting. It's a far cry from what I usually am like. Which is loud. Insane. Sort of obnoxious. Freakin' ridiculous. Goofy. Giggly. Etc. Etc.
     This is what I am with Lock.

   
     This is what I am like without Lock.

      Actually sane. 

     . . . Can you tell the difference?

     I don't know why I behave differently around other people. Maybe it's because I can be so easily intimidated by people who are a million times more awesome than me and being in their presence just makes me feel like

(Yes I understand I am abusing the power of gifs but it's just too much fun)

     I also have this thing where sometimes I'm too embarrassed to talk because my mouth goes faster than my brain can think and all of a sudden my sentences just go kind of, "And the asdfghjkl jumped over the asdfghjkl and I ate a clock."

     . . . You can imagine the conversations.

     Which is why I'm just a naturally shy person - I guess. And I care too much about what people think of me. It's part of my uber self-consciousness.

     Anyway, I think I'm getting off topic.

     Yes. Hi. Thank you, my day was fine. My, my, you look absolutely stunning today. Is that a new haircut? Darling, you look beautiful.